How You Doin'?

One of the things that still gets me from time to time, even after living in Upstate New York for more than five years, is the greeting. You know, the 'hi, how are you' stuff. It's really supposed to be very simple: somebody greets you "Hi!" and you respond with a "Hi!", or, for the non-conformist, "Hello!" The problem is in real life, precious few ever use "Hi" or "Hello". What I've found to be the norm here is to greet somebody with "How are you" or "How's it going" or some variation thereof. And you're supposed to reply with "Good. How are you?" or "Not bad. Yourself?" or some sort of reply-cum-counter-question. For all intents and purposes, it seems that "Hi" = "How are you", meaning "How are you" is not really a question, but more of a greeting.

Now back home in the Philippines, when people greet each other in passing (say in a hallway), they use a simple "Hi" or "Hello": short and sweet, and always with a smile—sincere or otherwise. But when you run into somebody who's probably more than an acquaintance, you might greet them with "Hi! Kumusta na?" ["Hi! How are you?"] at which the person asked would reply "Eto, gano'n pa rin. Ikaw, kumusta na?" ["Same old, same old. How about you?"] which leads to a couple of minutes' worth of conversation (which by the way very seldom involves the weather—but this merits a separate topic). The question is really a question: an answer is expected, even anticipated. Which really makes sense, because after all, why ask when you don't really care about the answer?

Which is exactly why it still throws me off when somebody greets me with "How are you?", because it really doesn't seem to matter what I say in return—it's still just a greeting, not a question. Of course, it's always a possibility that this is all just happening to me. After all, who am I to assume that people will automatically care to hear if I'm doing well or not (my captivating personality notwithstanding)? But I've seen people greet each other (on countless occasions spending summer lunch breaks people-watching) and I hear the same exchange over and over again:

Jack: "How are you, Jill?"
Jill: "How are you, Jack?"

And nary a hint of hurt feelings as they pass each other, never really getting proper answers to their respective questions.

Admittedly, all this is foreign to me because of not having grown up here. Maybe in a couple of years I'll catch on, but for now I'll just smile as I recall greetings back home and hope that the next time somebody greets me with "How are you?" I don't reply with a sigh and "Eto..."