The Economics of Pants

The average height of a Filipino is about 5 feet 5 inches. The average height of a Filipina is about 5 feet. Our American counterparts, on the other hand, are several inches taller at 5 feet 9 inches and 5 feet 4 inches respectively. So it stands to reason that when I go to the mall to buy pants, being the average Filipino that I am (heightwise, that is), I will never find a pair that are just the right length. Genetics, demography and the garment industry have all conspired to deprive this benefit from people like me who are on the far end of the statistical bell curve.

Of course, I can always have them altered. Problem is, I only buy pants when they're on sale (not that I can't afford them; it just goes against my moral values to pay regular price), so to have them altered would be like winning the battle against the JC Penney army but being ambushed on the way home by a squad from Joe's Tailoring.

To the uninitiated, a little perspective: The last time I had pants altered here it cost me $7. The last time I had pants altered back home (which wasn't so long ago) it cost 30 pesos. Assuming a P50-to-$1 exchange rate, that comes to 60 cents. Sixty cents! That's not even enough to buy a can of soda from the vending machine. So please pardon my animosity at the very necessary art of alteration—as I'm sure American tailors are very adept at their craft—but where I come from, P350 ($7) will get you more than a couple of holes and stitches.

Being the astute reader that you are, however, you've probably figured out by now that this moral conviction emanates from a person who is, deep-down, a cheapskate. And you will be right.

Truth is, just to save the couple of bucks I would've paid for the alteration, I will inevitably endure months of wearing ill-fitting, curly-legged pants whose ends will end up gnarled from brushing against concrete.

I've always thought somebody could make a killing doing cheap alterations for all the Filipinos in Upstate New York.